Only Love Required


For those of us parents whose children have grownup and left home life is full of interesting new experiences.  Hopefully our children feel free to choose their own lives.   Children can feel pushed into what we, as parents, want them to do or they make choices out of a need to rebel against their parents.  The challenge is when our children choose a completely different life style for whatever reason.

As a mother with five grown children you are struggling to find their way in a turbulent and difficult world, I worry about them.  They have all chosen differently than I would have chosen for them and I don’t always approve of their choices.  Some of their choices have been heart breaking to watch as they were hurt or found themselves in places they didn’t want to be.  Some choices have made me angry as I know that they are better than what they chose.  They are my babies, pieces of my heart that are walking around outside of me.  I want the best for them.  I want them to be happy.

I do love them with all my heart and soul.  If I didn’t, I wouldn’t care what they did.  I will not stop loving them no matter what they do.  I may not like them, but I will always love them.  I may not be able to support them in their choice, but I will always support them in who they are.  I will spend as much time with them as I possibly can.  They are my children.  My reason for being.

So what do we do when our children choose differently?  We love them.

We send them goodies and letters when they are lonely.  We tell them we love them even when we feel like strangling them.  Of course, I tell my children I feel like strangling them sometimes.  If we do not approve, we can tell them but then we need to let it go.  We encourage the to be the best they can be.  We drop everything and rush to them when they need us.

Is is easy? No. 

I cannot count the sleepless nights I have spent over my grown children.  Times when I have been sick with worry.  The fear I have felt when I knew that they were in harm’s way.  There were times when I wanted to go beat the living snot out of them for being stupid.  There have been times I did not want them to be anywhere near me.  There have been times when I would have given anything to be with them, but they didn’t want me.  I have had to tell them no when all I wanted to do was make everything better.

Is it worth it?  Yes!

I am proud of the women my daughters are becoming.  I have two wonderful sons-in-law that treat them well.  I am proud of the men my sons are becoming.  I have a beautiful daughter-in-law who is just what my one son needs.  I have three of the most beautiful granddaughters in the whole world.  My children like to be with me.  They share their lives with me.  What more could I ask for?

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