I hope that everyone had a great Mother’s Day and all our mothers feel loved and appreciated.
I read an article this morning about a tragedy that touched a very tender spot in my heart. A small plane carrying five people crashed killing the pilot and two others instantly. A seriously injured young man saved the only young lady on the plane. The young lady is doing well and expected to make a full recovery. The young man died from his injuries after reaching the hospital. The article says that they were friends.
The word friend has several definitions but they come down to the same point. A friend is someone with whom you have something in common. This commonality can be anything: appearance, location, affiliation, activity, experience or emotional connection. Any, or all, of these things can bring friends into our lives.
Being a Friend
Being requires only one thing, existing. Being a friend is so much more than existing. It is a state of mind and an action. How does that saying go? If you want to have good friends, be one. It sounds so simple but we all know that simple things are often the hardest to do. I have had a lot of people ask me, “What is a good friend?” Here is what I think a good friend is:
This is one of the most challenging parts of being a friend. What is an anchor? According to dictionary.com it is “a person or thing that can be relied on for support, stability, or security; mainstay”. While an anchor is made to keep something in place, it gets regularly abused. An anchor is dragged, put under great pressure, jammed, cut, lost and often misused.
The word wall has so many different connotations within its definition of an upright structure taller and longer than it is thick. It separates, encloses, protects, confines and shelters. It can be too big, too thick or too hard. It can be too small, too thin or too soft. It can whatever we make it. Sometimes I am a brick wall. Something hard and immovable that can be beat on in anger, frustration or hurt. Sometimes I am a shelter or protection from the storms of life. We often define our lives and the lives of others by the walls that we build, what we build them out of and why we build them.
In the eyes of a friend we can see the reflection of who we are. If you asked your bathroom mirror if those pants made your backside look big, what would it say? Mine would probably say I needed a wide load sign. It would also tell me that my hair was looking great today and I was looking well rested. Friends won’t always show us what we want to see. They often show us what we don’t want to see, but they will show us what we need to see. If we pay attention, they will show us things about ourselves that are wonderful and amazing.
Love is so much more that passion and sex. It is kind, giving, truthful, empathic, considerate and selfless. It listens without judgment. Love can embrace the person and eschew their actions. It gives without expectation of a return. It sees beyond the outer covering. It is patient and never gives up or quits.
True friends are a treasure beyond price. They are rare jewels that are often found in the most unlikely places. The best way to find a true friend is to be one to everyone who passes through your life. This is like treasure hunting or mining. It is hard, dirty work and you will go through a lot of dirt and rocks. You will be crushed by cave-ins, broken, bruised and frustrated by stupidity and selfishness. In the end though you will have a treasure that is the envy of all. Even those with more money than they can spend will consider themselves poor in comparison.
My heart aches for the families who lost loved ones in that plan crash. My prayers are with them in their time of sorrow. A candle that could have been blown out through this tragedy became a beacon. A young man whose injuries and pain were beyond imagining saved his friend. Friend. What better epitaph could be given.